Looking at the incredibly realistic style of the photos from Midjourney V5.1 that amazed many people, I still can't shake the feeling that everything is unreal.
What makes it feel unreal to me isn't the rapid progress of AI, but rather those flawless smiles, beautiful faces, and bodies of women that I've never experienced in my own life.
It's a deeply unsettling sensation.
For me, the body is predominantly a source of pain. While I haven't endured major illnesses, being highly sensitive and having suffered from menstrual pain for over 16 years, I believe I'm entitled to express some grievances.
However, the body isn't solely responsible for the pain. More often than not, my body silently endures things I'd rather not bear, such as suppressed emotions.
The contradiction of coexisting with my own body is perplexing: I'm the one driving the car, yet I still experience motion sickness. I'm the one in control, yet I'm left vomiting uncontrollably.
To me, this contradictory and complex body is the real one.
This unadorned body that always speaks its mind, adds fuel to the fire when I'm in chaos, and extends a helping hand when I feel like I can't go on, is the real one.
A body that is messy but still manages to support something, that is the real one.
看著Midjourney V5.1的照片寫實風格太逼真讓許多人大為驚艷，然而我仍然感覺一切很不真實。
感覺不真實的並非AI進步速度之快，而是那些完美的笑容、姣好的面貌和女體，從未在我的生活中經驗過。
非常的不真實。
身體對我而言，本質大多是痛苦的。雖然沒有經歷過多少重大疾病，然而自小敏感體質加上經痛已逾16年的我，或許仍有立場小小抱怨一番。
事實上，身體也非完全是痛苦的來源。更多時候，身體為我默默承受了許多我不想承受的事情，例如那些選擇性忽略的情緒。
我試著描述這種與身體共處的矛盾感：明明是自己開著車，居然還會暈車。明明是我在控制著這個載具，卻還是吐到不行。
對我而言，這個充滿矛盾而複雜的身體，才是真實的。
這個未經修飾，總是直言不諱，老是在我手忙腳亂時來加油添醋，感覺快要撐不下去時卻又不經意伸出援手的身體，才是真實的。
明明亂成一團線，但卻又能支撐著什麼的身體，才是真實的。
Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about how AI-generated art struggles to convey strong emotions. But is that truly the case?
I tried collaborating with AI, wanting to see if that sense of chaos could be expressed through Stable Diffusion. The creative process involved sketching by hand and using Image to Image to adjust the style and finalize the details with Stable Diffusion.
To my surprise, the final product left me astounded! I truly appreciate how this series evokes a powerful sense of dissociation, isolation, and the raw energy emanating from the body. The seemingly incorrect and distorted body parts and facial features generated by AI became the most fitting visual interpretation within this context.
"Transcending the body, seeking joy beyond suffering" is not just a concept I frequently employ in my artwork, but it is also a personal goal in my life.
前幾天跟朋友討論到AI生成藝術好像很難表現強烈的情緒，然而實際上真的是這樣嗎？
我嘗試著與AI協作，想要知道那樣混亂的感受是否能夠透過Stable Difussion表達出來。創作步驟是手繪草稿之後再使用Image to image 讓Stable Diffusion調整風格&完稿。
事實上成品挺讓我驚豔的，很喜歡這系列呈現出一種強烈的解離感，而有時候AI產出看似錯誤、扭曲的肢體和面容，反而在這個主題下，成了最好的視覺詮釋方式。
「超越身體，離苦得樂」，不僅僅是我時常在作品中使用的概念，也是我人生的目標。
